Monday, September 15, 2014

Life at the Moment

Images are so powerful. Some times they can explain things so much better, they can show the full beauty of even the simplest things. I could just tell all I have been up to over this past month, but I find this as a prettier form of life at the moment.
Autumn colors.

Tired Paul napping during lunch.

Writing my heart out.

Loving learning (while staying a child at heart)

Counting those 1,000 again.

Girl time.


Preparing for the autumn months.

Cookies and Star Wars time.

Golden pieces in the Word.

New Karate rank.
Movie and sibling time.

Little brother cuddles.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Growing up: A Combination of Fear and Excitement

Please raise your hand if you have ever had an extreme fear of growing up. My hand is up. It used to never be this way. I remember at twelve anticipating being an adult, I was just dying to be able to drive, get married, and have more responsibilities. Yeah, I was the type of kid who could't understand at all when others talked about wanting to be a kid again. Things are starting to make a lot of sense. I am sure everyone has already come to these realizations, but silly little me took a while to figure it out.
Me and my oldest sister Amy

  I am going to be sixteen in two months. Everyone says, it's only sixteen, don't freak out. I am just panicking at the thought of having to get my drivers license. I don't want to have more responsibilities already, I want to go back and be ten again. Play with Legos and dolls, doodle in my free time, and read fiction. I understand I can still do a lot of these in small amounts, but not without a little guilt as a remember the looming list of responsibilities.

  Why can't I be as confident as I was when I was twelve? I was so determined and set, I knew what I wanted to do when I was grown.
I was already planning and scheduling out what I would do. I had it all figured out. And some how it's not that way anymore. I really don't know why. It's like I got this wave of sudden fear as my time as a kid started running out. 

  Well here I am, turning sixteen soon, and just wishing I had six years of my life back. Life was so simple, not fogged with complications. 

Well, where do you go from here? 

I decide to love my life. The responsibilities and frustrations, the lists of things to do, the crazy busy schedules. Put aside the childish things, yes. But that does not cancel out play time with siblings. I have found such great joy in playing with my siblings. Just feeling young again and letting go, forgetting my problems and issues as I sit down to build Legos with my brother. Dropping the looming list for five minutes to finish dressing a doll for my sister. It has brought me such joy. It has helped me handle my responsibilities well, while still enjoying the little things in life.

I have never felt a better bond with my younger siblings before now. I can understand being in their shoes. We can relate with each other even with a large age gap. 

So growing up isn't as scary anymore. My little siblings are my best friends. I have two awesome older sisters who have gone before me, always ready to give me advice. My parents are always there for me, they are ready to help me and have supported me greatly with any of my hopes or dreams.

Growing up is just another part of life. Everyone says it, but I'm not sure all kids get it right away. I sure didn't. But I'm glad I finally do.


Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Counting blessings... in life's hardest times

It has been a long time. Feels like I say that a lot.... But life has been happening, and as you know life

doesn't hand out spare time. 

I began counting gifts in an old diary last fall. It was a new approach to appreciating what God has given me. I enjoyed it and kept it up until early this year when I began to struggle with multiple issues that hit me in my life. I was frustrated and confused.  I wondered if I could really even count blessings at a time when I was hurting and angry. I felt like my whole life needed sorting out and all I wanted to do was forget the gifts.
  Slowly, as time went by, I began to pick up the journal and take a stab at jotting down a few gifts. They were forced and it was hard. But eventually, my mind was able to see through the thick fog surrounding me, to see the gifts that sat there unnoticed everyday. 

A cup of coffee every morning.

The hugs of a small child.

Fuzzy blankets. 

Still quiet mornings.

The sunrise that never seems to get old, more beautiful every time. 

  They just began to come. I was able to appreciate them again. I continued the journey of counting the gifts, at times it was very hard. How could I see anything good at a time like this? But slowly the fog would clear and I would be greeted with a blessing. 

After almost a whole year of counting, I approached my gift one thousand. 

1,000. Satisfied

 I thank God for showing me the beauty in this life, even during lives hurts and frustration. He is there and he is blessings us always, bringing us closer to him through his small acts to remind us. He is with us. 

I challenge you, look past the hurts. I know it's hard, believe me. But try. Just forget the issues, the anger, the frustration. Look right in front of you. What are those gifts you have been given?


Monday, August 11, 2014

Come See the New Writers Blog, Epic Scribbles!

Hello all! Me and my sister Amy, created our very own writers blog! It opened today and is waiting for you to come explore it. Read the new post to learn more about the name, Epic Scribbles.

Every Friday we will be posting a work of fiction we wrote. So make sure you check this upcoming Friday for the first, Fiction Friday.