Thursday, August 8, 2013

Snippets of Story


I thought I would bring you all in on what I have been writing. I wrote a book last month for Nanowrimo. Well when I finished it I missed my characters so much, that I decided to write a new book. It is so much fun getting to know these new characters! Ok so here is a snippet of my newest book.... I have edited it very little, and things may end up changing. Feel free to tell me what you think! I am new to novel writing, so I can use all the help I can get!



Victor struggled to contain the panic that rose in his chest. Water began to pour into the plane. Through the windows he could see them sinking quickly into the ocean. He still had a sobbing Linus strapped to him, and a parachute. Nathan lay on the plane's floor, blood covering his face. Jenny shook him screaming, Elaine held his head in her hands, struggling to awaken him. Victor saw the immediate problem.

Elaine!” He screamed across the noise.

She looked up, horror in her eyes.

Take Linus,” He unstrapped the screaming boy, “I will take Nathan. Jenny, grab all the life vests you can find, you will need them!”

Elaine took Linus in her arms, as she threw the parachute of her back. Jenny had an arm full of life jackets before Victor had time to think. He stooped over his son's still form. He did not care if he was alive or not, they had to get them all out. Victor grasped Nathan's parachute and stripped it off him.

Elaine! Get Jenny and Linus out now!” He screamed, as water began to completely fill the plane.

The water covered Nathan quickly, Victor struggled to drag the boy out. He glanced behind him to see his wife and children gone, the exit door busted open. He prayed they were safer than he was. He dragged Nathan through the water now, trying to keep both of their heads above water. He threw Nathan's arms over his shoulder, and began to swim out the opened door, that was now fully submerged in water. He was covered in water in less then five seconds. He searched for the surface, trying to keep Nathan in his grasp. Cool air struck him in the face as he came to the surface. He gasped in precious air, and pulled Nathan up. He looked around the wrecked plane and the ocean for signs of his wife. None. Then he saw in the distance, something different. It took his brain a few seconds to finally register what it was. Land, of some sort. Perhaps it was close enough to swim to. He thanked God for the life vests, as he pulled Nathan behind him holding his head up as he swam. He looked back at the wrecked plane. It was almost completely covered by the crashing waves. A thought struck him, the pilots had not gotten out. He looked frantically around the wreck. Then he looked at his son's bloodied face. Family came first. He would come back and find the pilots. He had to.

The land was very close, in fact it took little time for Victor to make it to the sandy beach. He dragged Nathan up onto it and laid him down on the wet sand. He heard a yell and looked up to see Elaine and Jenny come running, Linus ran behind. Elaine collapsed at Nathan's side.

Take care of him. I need to go back for the pilots!” Victor said, as he ran back into the the water. 

There you have it! Tell me what you think! I would love some tips on writing if you have any! 

~Melody

3 comments:

  1. Awesome Melody! Keep up the GREAT work! :)
    -coco

    ReplyDelete
  2. I enjoyed reading this snippet. :)


    Have a lovely day!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!