Self image. We all think of it at some point in our lives. We struggle to see ourselves as beautiful. It is a constant battle for some, and nothing at all for others. I deal with it in strange cycles. One day I can't look in the mirror, another day I don't care. Other days I think I might have a chance. Then I wonder, why do I care? I just stare at myself in disgust wondering why I have to look the way I do. But then I cringe as I realize I am mocking the work of God. He is the one who formed me exactly the way he wanted me. He took care in the crafting of my nose, He loved it. He was the one who chose the hair color, because He loved it. I am his artwork.
I stare at my large eyes, I have always feared they frighten people. My acne seems to be a beacon on my face. My flat hair seems to stick to my head. I hide among my books, pretending to be the perfect girl in each one nothing like the real me. I lie and convince myself it makes all my feelings go away. But it doesn't. I still feel ugly, it is simply bottled up now. I don't look in the mirror, I ignore anything that has to do with image, I try to cope by ignoring myself. It doesn't work. I am still sad, I am still feeling frumpy next to any other girl.
Ignoring myself can help me to appear confident on the outside. But I will still be a melting mess inside. God, I have decided to love the body you gave me. I will love this hair, these eyes, this face, because you made it and you love it. This life is to full of other things to be worrying anymore. So much more is waiting for me, it is time to say goodbye to the spirit of fear and insecurity. I am saying hello to confidence and love. God will give me the strength to battle these feelings, to open my eyes and see the beauty God has blessed me with.