Monday, May 26, 2014

Life's Waves

Waves. They totally amaze me. These huge loads of water just push and shove each other around
across a unbelievable vast body of water.  They pull so hard, then they let go for a moment, leaving you a moment, to breath. But they are back before you know it clawing at you trying to bring you back with them. A lot like life. One minute life feels almost perfect. Next minute life feels almost worthless. I guess you could say I have been recovering from a waves tug lately. That moment of God's blessing in my life is starting. You know how we are always told the bad things that happen in life are good for us, they say it makes us appreciate the good parts of life. We'll I'm sorry to say it took a while for me to truly understand that. Life felt so perfect, I had everything I could ever want. Then it all blew up. Life didn't just feel like a mess on the outside, on the inside I felt like a storm was pulling me in two. I fought hard with myself, anger, hurt, sorrow, and vengeance played with me. I wanted to just be left alone to sort out the life mess. But I was forced to fight of the feelings that wanted to suffocate me. Oh, I so wanted them to take over me. To give in and steep in those feelings would be so relieving. To give in and let life's hurts swallow me would be so easy. But I couldn't.

I was almost ready to let them take over me, when a realization dawned on me. I was shown the love of Christ. In just the smallest way. A child's hug. When life took it's terrible turn, something happened. My little sister just started hugging me. It's not like we don't hug normally, it's just she started doing it all the time. Any moment she saw me, she just gave me a hug. With her little arms wrapped around my waist she would say in her sweet little voice, "I love you, Melody." Many times I have struggled to contain myself from just bursting into tears. 

During the worst pain of the waves tug, I sobbed to my savior. I needed His love. I need to feel His love in my life. I felt cold and lonely. I need Him to hold me. I begged to be held in His arms. I felt so pathetic asking to be held in someones arms. But that's all I needed. Someone to hold me, tell me they loved me. With a warm voice and a gentle touch He answered that cry. For months I failed to feel that embrace. Till I looked down into those bright blue eyes that smiled up at me. "I love you, Melody." Tears came to my eyes as I shook my head. I am so blind. 

How could I fall into the arms of the hateful feelings that clawed at me? He loves me. His love is worth the fight. No pain is too great when I feel His tight hold on me. He soft words. "I love you, Melody." 

Love is worth fighting for. 

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post, Melody. Know that God is always there for us. :hugs:


Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!