I feel like I keep missing the point of everything. It's like I finally learn things I should have learned at ten. Ready for it..... I think I have finally fully understood how important family is.
Yeah, I am behind. Family has always been important to me, I was always sure I was dedicated enough to it. I guess is was just recently that I came to fully understanding how much I really need my family. I don't know what I would do without them. Like I said, I'm sure everyone learned this long ago. But I guess I just had to learn it the hard way.
Last Christmas season, life felt perfect. I had lots of friends, plenty of time, awesome grades, and everything else I thought I could want. I failed to see my great need for my family. Then, in a matter of weeks it all changed. Everything seemed to be falling apart around me. I was feeling depressed. I rarely saw my friends, my school started failing miserably, I felt like I had to squeeze in time for anything. I hid all of my hurts and frustrations, I didn't really know why, I just didn't want to tell anyone about them. Loneliness was setting in as the weeks went by.
Then it hit me. A pretty pathetic realization. I was living with a family of ten kids, and I was lonely. What on earth was the mater with me? I was failing to even appreciate the friends God had put right into my life from birth. I was ashamed of myself. All these years of waisting the time I could have spent with them.
Through all the struggles I have had this past year, I thank God for all of them. Without the struggle I never would have discovered my great need for family. Through the weakest moments of my life, God reveals just how beautiful the best moments are. In our weakness He is strong.
Those moments when we are all just one big mess, he likes to throw in a random movie night with the little siblings. A random Starbucks outing with my big sister. A random time in my top bunk with my other sister. A random read aloud time with the baby brothers. A random light saber duel with a toddler brother.
Life is most beautiful, when it isn't perfect. When I can fully appreciate the little things.